Humor: Still unanswered questions

* If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him – Is he still wrong?
* If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
* If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
* Is there another word for synonym?
* Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”
* When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
* When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
* Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
* Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
* What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
* If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
* Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
* Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
* If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
* Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
* Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
* If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
* Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
* How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
* Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
* Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
* What was the best thing before sliced bread?
* Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
* Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
* Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
* If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
* If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
* If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
* If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
* You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
* Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
* You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
* Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
* Why do commercial airlines have braille on the reading light switch